Cause of Death: Love
by SchizophrenicRacoon
Summary: Deidara is horrified when Zetsu and Tobi show him Sasori's body... But he gets a suprise... Sasodei. Rated T. Contains Shounen Ai and implied Yaoi. You have been warned! My first fanfic ever


Okay! This is my very first fanfiction and I'm excited and... kinda nervous. Hehe...

Apart from that - I hope you enjoy the read! Oh, and, I'm not REALLY perverted,

I have a few fics I'm writing which aren't perverted I swear... This one's only for humour hehe... Warning!! This fic contains... Okay, I think it labels under shounen ai and there's some implied yaoi at the end. It has some bad language in it and minor violence.  
(Yaoi: Touchy man love.  
Shounen ai: Man love but no-touchy.  
I think that's about right.)  
Contains Sasodei!!

_'The cow goes moo.' _- The person is thinking that the cow goes moo.  
"The cow goes moo." - The person is saying the cow goes moo.  
When I say 'OOC', I mean that that is me commenting or saying something random, not nessescarily part of the fic, hehe...  
And yes, the characters are a bit out of... character in this fic.

One last note - When Zetsu speaks in bold it's his 'dark' side speaking, and when it's in italics it's his 'light' side speaking! Just incase you couldn't figure that out.  
Read on!

(DISCLAIMER: I do not own the anime Naruto or it's characters)

* * *

Deidara's POV

* * *

"S-Sasori!" I choked out. 

Infront of me, lay a broken puppet. My danna. Impaled through his heart were two blades.

I knew what had happened. Zetsu and Tobi had told me. The two members were standing a bit back, sensible enough to know that I might want to talk to danna alone.

I was also sensible enough to know that I should not show any emotion. Akatsuki members are chosen because they are ruthless and strong, and to people like that, emotional attachments are a weakness.

But I couldn't help it. Infront of me lay my danna, broken. But this wasn't like when one of his puppets broke. When his puppets broke in battle he fixed them when we were back at the hideout. This was different. There was no one here to fix my danna.

I took a step forward, everything seemed so unreal. Making my way to his side, I knelt down.

"Danna..." I took a deep breath to stop my voice quavering,"Danna... Please... Wake up un.  
It's me Deidara un... Danna... Danna wake up"

I don't know why I was saying it. I knew he wasn't going to wake up. But suddenly, I didn't feel like a battle-experienced missing-nin, member of the elite Akatsuki. I felt like I was seven years old again. Like a small child. Maybe this is what danna felt like when his parents died. He didn't talk about it but other people did.

I bit down hard on my lip. I didn't even want to think about what Tobi and Zetsu must be thinking. Even if I hadn't walked here with them, I could feel their presence, and their gazes fixed on my back.

My vision blurred and swam before me and I glared hard at the fuzzy body of my unmoving danna, determined not to let tears drop.

Screwing up my eyes, I let my mind drop into turmoil.

My train of confused sentiments hit a brick wall. Not just a brick wall. A fucking _concrete_ wall.

Someone. Was. Groping. Me.

It took a few seconds for it to penetrate my disorientated state. It took another few seconds for me to realise what the sensation was. When my brain had processed all this, I took a few seconds to respond.

_"What the fuck?"_ I looked behind me.

Okay, now there's something wrong with this. When's someone mourning for their precious lost one, you don't _grope_ them. Hell, even if Tobi, or Zetsu, whichever one it was, was doing this as a joke... It just wasn't funny.

And ewww. Being molested by one of them.

But they looked just as gobsmacked as I did. Tobi's face may have been hidden by his mask,but I could tell from his stance, and Zetsu was just standing there limply with his mouth hanging wide open, apparently neither side of him could find anything to say.

And neither had moved or stretched their arm to insane lengths to violate me. But then who?

I looked down. There was indeed a hand feeling my backside.

_The hand was made of wood._

My expression went something like this. It went from confusion to even more confusion. It then went to comprehension. It then went from understanding to enraged at an alarming speed.

"Deidara-Kun, is there something you want to tell me?" came a very familiar voice in sugar-sweet tones.

I looked back at my danna. My danna was no longer lying broken on the ground. My danna was partially sitting upright and grinning at me.

"Sasori-danna un!" I half-snarled, half-sobbed which, believe me, is a very hard combination to achieve. I flung myself ontop of him and simultaneously tried to strangle him, which was futile as his neck was made of solid wood but I like to think of it as being symbolic,  
and to hug him as tightly as I could at the same time.

"Gack! What did I do to deserve this brat?!"

"Danna your a meanie damnit un!!"

* * *

Narrator's POV

* * *

Tobi and Zetsu watched silently as Deidara sat ontop of his danna, trying to beat the shit out of him, hug him, cry, laugh, be enraged and make love (OOC: By this I am merely referring to the exuberance of which Deidara is greeting his danna he thought he lost of course) to him all at once. 

"..."

**"This is stupid."**

"Why is that Zetsu-san?"

**"Stupid puppet. Stupid blonde. Those two are fooling around so much that they'll have shinobi down on us in no time."**

_"Deidara is merely expressing his relief that his danna is alive."_

**"If he expresses any more relief he's going to kill Sasori and impregnate him at the same time."**

_"...That was uncalled for and an extremely disgusting image."_

"Ewww Zetsu-san... Hrn... Cause of death hmmm? Sasori - Cause of death - Death by love"

THE END.

* * *

_(However on the journey home Deidara refused to be separated from his danna and for many months after the incident... Oh wait, that's just them back to normal then. _

_They also traumatized both Zetsu and Tobi when they decided to stop at an inn on the way home. Zetsu and Tobi had to sleep next to Deidara and Sasori's room and it didn't help that the walls were very thin)_

_

* * *

_

Ahhh!! I just wrote my first fanfic!

Oh yes, I have just realised that I did not properly explain how the hell Sasori is alive after he got stabbed through the heart.  
Let me explain.

You see, when someone in a very popular yaoi pairing dies, it causes general outrage among fangirls. The symptoms are: Crying, foaming at the mouth, being raged, being in denial, stalking the person who's fans they are...

Oh wait, that's normal fangirl behaviour.

Okay the real reason is because I snuck in and stole his REAL heart and put it in a box under his bed. I put one of Kakuzu's hearts in his container.

Boy I sure hope that wasn't Kakuzu's last heart.

Oh yes, now I would be a proper fanfiction writer if I didn't do this - Review me please!

Yay I said it... By the way I eat flames. Or at least depends on the flavour. Strawberry best.

Over and out! (Boy I ramble too much...)

P.S. Sorry, tried to invert my paragraphs but couldn't figure out how.


End file.
